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April 26th, 2004
07:26 pm
I know you think that I shouldn't still love you
Or tell you that
But if I didn't say it
Well, I'd still have felt it
Where's the sense in that?
I promise I'm not trying to make your life harder
Or return to where we were
But I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be
I know I left too much mess
And destruction to come back again
And I caused but nothing but trouble
I understand if you can't talk to me again
And if you live by the rules of It's over
Then I'm sure that that makes sense
But I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be
And when we meet
Which I'm sure we will
All I was then
Will be there still
I'll let it pass
And hold my tongue
And you will think
That I've moved on
I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be
I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be
I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be
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April 4th, 2004
09:41 pm - This fits. This fits so well.
Fighter
Christina Aquilera
After all you put me through
You'd think I'd despise you
But in the end I want to thank you
Because you made me that much stronger
When I, thought I knew you
Thinking, that you were true
I guess I, I couldn't trust
Called your bluff, time is up
'Cause I've had enough
You were, there by my side
Always, down for the ride
But your, joy ride just came down in flames
'Cause your greed sold me out in shame, mmhmm
After all of the stealing and cheating
You probably think that I hold resentment for you
But, uh uh, oh no, you're wrong
'Cause if it wasn't for all that you tried to do
I wouldn't know just how capable I am to pull through
So I wanna say thank you
'Cause it makes me that much stronger
Makes me work a little bit harder
It makes me that much wiser
So thanks for making me a fighter
Made me learn a little bit faster
Made my skin a little bit thicker
Makes me that much smarter
So thanks for making me a fighter
Ohh, ohh, ohh, ohhhh, ohh-yeah ah uhhhuh
Never, saw it coming
All of, your backstabbing
Just so, you could cash in
On a good thing before I realized your game
I heard, you're going around
Playing the victim now
But don't, even begin
Feeling I'm the one to blame
'Cause you dug your own grave
After all of the fights and the lies
Yes you wanted to harm me but that won't work anymore
Uh, no more, oh no, it's over
'Cause if it wasn't for all of your torture
I wouldn't know how to be this way now, and never back down
So I wanna say thank you
'Cause it makes me that much stronger
Makes me work a little bit harder
Makes me that much wiser
So thanks for making me a fighter
Made me learn a little bit faster
Made my skin a little bit thicker
It makes me that much smarter
So thanks for making me a fighter
How could this man I thought I knew
Turn out to be unjust so cruel
Could only see the good in you
Pretended not to see the truth
You tried to hide your lies, disguise yourself
Through living in denial
But in the end you'll see
YOU-WON'T-STOP-ME
I am a fighter and I
I ain't gonna stop
There is no turning back
I've had enough
'Cause it makes me that much stronger
Makes me work a little bit harder
Makes me that much wiser
So thanks for making me a fighter
Made me learn a little bit faster
Made my skin a little bit thicker
It makes me that much smarter
So thanks for making me a fighte
thought I'd forget, but I, I remember
I remember, I remember
thought I'd forget, but I, I remember
I remember, I remember
'Cause it makes me that much stronger
Makes me work a little bit harder
Makes me that much wiser
So thanks for making me a fighter
Made me learn a little bit faster
Made my skin a little bit thicker
It makes me that much smarter
So thanks for making me a fighter
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/punquinheads/blue/cold.gif) cold
Current Music: Fighter - Christina Aquilera - Stripped
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April 3rd, 2004
10:13 am - Feh
I wish that people wouldn't nose into others business when they're not wanted in it. It's obvious that Smash only avoids talking about me to people who actually know me. Probably because he knows that he's wrong about me. He doesn't want to talk to me ever again? That's his own fault. Now I don't want to talk to him either. He can keep his attack-dog away from me, too. Cause I don't want to talk to him either.
~For the time being, the red sky gives me reason to fly,
I want to rest on my wings, sleeping beside you,
My dream of this relationship with you is like Deja Vu,
Lovely, Lonely Planet.
Devil In My Shoes,
You Left Me Alone,
And You're Gone...
Consequently the wind sweeps the tears from my cheeks
They're dry in the end
I swear I will.
Memories of a Song
Opening within,
Secret memories,
Controlling me in awe.
A soft voice of the past
Speaking with a tremble,
Forcing tears out,
I smile.
My flaws showing,
On that Lonely Planet.
Inside it's limits the world's a lonely place,
To freeze my time with you,
Is what my unmistakable desire is,
If I hold my tongue and my selfishness, it'll be just a moment.~-Genesis of Next
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March 31st, 2004
06:10 am - I hate you! But I love you...
Well, the song fits. About now I hate him, but I love him. Anyway he puts it I was using him. That's fine. So be it. The only one using someone was him, but that's fine. Maybe I sound bitter? Then you should look at exactly what he said.
Oh yes... That's a way to treat a woman. Speak of all the women in your past in an 'I'm so disgusted by women' tone. Well, I'm glad the fact that he's a sexist asshole is now out in the open.
Not only that but he seems to follow the popular TV ideal of the times... It was in for a man to treat a woman like crap before... Now it's in for men to be gay... Such a follower.
Well, here's my 'Widgit Says' for the day:
Don't follow popular trends, fashions and morals just because they're 'in'! Be a leader not a follower. Just being yourself is to be the coolest you can be. Widgit says! See ya! Hee hee!
P.S. Widgit is my new Tiger character. Those of you who still call me 'Gill' can call me 'Widge' or something similar
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March 30th, 2004
10:02 pm
I can't get out of bed today
Or get you off my mind
I just can't seem to find a way
To leave the love behind
I ain't trippin
I'm just missing
You know what I'm saying
You know what I mean
You kept me hanging on a string
Why you make me cry
I try to give you everything
But you just gave me lies
I ain't trippin
I'm just missing
You know what I'm saying
You know what I mean
Every now and then
When I'm all alone
I'll be wishing you will call me on the telephone
Say you want me back
But you never do
I feel like such a fool
There's nothing I can do..
I'm such a fool
For you
I can't take it
What am I waiting for?
My hearts still breaking
I miss you even more
And I can't fake it
The way I could be for
I hate you but I love you
I can't stop thinking of you
It's true
I'm stuck on you
My love's a broken record that's
Been skipping in my head
I keep singing yesterday
Why we've got to play these games we play?
I ain't trippin
I'm just missing
You know what I'm saying
You know what I mean
Every now and then
When I'm all alone
I'll be wishing you will call me on the telephone
Say you want me back
But you never do
I feel like such a fool
I can't take it
What am I waiting for?
My hearts still breaking
I miss you even more
And I can't fake it
The way I could be for
I hate you but I love you
I can't stop thinking of you
It's true
I'm stuck on you
Every now and then
When I'm all alone
I'll be wishing you will call me on the telephone
Say you want me back
But you never do
I feel like such a fool
There's nothing I can do..
I'm such a fool
For you
I can't take it
What am I waiting for?
My hearts still breaking
I miss you even more
And I can't fake it
The way I could be for
I hate you but I love you
I can't stop thinking of you
I can't stop thinking of you
I can't stop thinking of you
It's true
I'm stuck on you
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07:28 pm - I'm going to actually use my journal for what it's meant for...
*crying* How could he describe me as any of three that he did? I hate my life... I wish that knight I've been told I deserve would show up about now...
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/punquinheads/blue/sad.gif) sad
Current Music: I Don't Need Promises - Escaflowne
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March 28th, 2004
09:02 am
You know... Sara use to call you 'Smashing'... English equivalent for 'very good'... It doesn't fit... The guy who was 'Smashing' died with the CFG. He was one of my best friends. He was a good guy.
The only CFG who is still around anymore is Mewd. TMS died when I found out how sexist most of my friends were. He rolled over in his grave when I figured out you're no better than Sandslash about it.
Thank you Mewd for being the only CFG who's stayed the same. You're one of the sweetest guys I know.
You know it's funny, but Mewd was right with what he said in his livejournal when he talked about the name 'Mewd'. ~...because there are very few seventeen year olds who fail to switch off their names at my age to something along of the lines of Dismembered_Limb_Maker23451...~-Mewd Most men make changes for the worst as they get older... You're definantly no exception...
It's too bad that some of my friends made decisions that will hurt them in the end. It's sad as well...
Syaonara, Sumashi. Kimi no aisheture. If you ever decide that you'd like help, I'm here. But until then... Goodbye. This might be goodbye forever... It's up to you. But when I said I loved you, that was no lie. I still do. Hisoi desu demo kimi no aisheture. *issei*
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09:02 am
Head over heals I've fit in before
Now I don't wanna do it no more
I've held it all in with blood on my face
Built it up man so bad you can taste
I don't slag no one
I don't even judge
Don't give a shit 'cause I'm not gonna budge
I just want to be who I want to be
Guess that's hard for others to see
I'm not a trendy asshole
I Do what I want
I Do what I feel like
I'm not a trendy asshole
Don't give a fuck
If it's good enough for you
Cause I am alive
Smash is the way you feel all alone
Like an outcast you're out on your own
Smash is the way you deal with your life
Like an outcast you're smashing your strife
Head over heels I've fit in before
Now I don't want to do it no more
I just want to be who I want to be
Guess that's hard for others to see
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08:46 am - Breaking the Mirror for a while.
What's on my mind at the moment: Wow... Guess what? I was right! You needed help! And you know what? Because you can't see beyond the end of your own nose you got yourself into a mess. My advice? Take a pin to your enormous ego, take a good hard look at your life and realize your mistakes. You take your friends for granted and refuse the help that you really need. You're going to end up alone if you don't change because no matter how much a person thinks they can handle, they can't handle sharing a romantic interest. You're just like someone else I knew. It took four years for me to realize you're not the guy who I use to hang out with at the CFG boards. If you keep ignoring me, I might just end up analyzing you. Go ahead. I'll play psychiatrist even though you blocked me for trying to help you.
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March 27th, 2004
03:53 pm
What's wrong with the world, mama
People livin' like they ain't got no mamas
I think the whole world addicted to the drama
Only attracted to things that'll bring you trauma
Overseas, yeah, we try to stop terrorism
But we still got terrorists here livin'
In the USA, the big CIA
The Bloods and The Crips and the KKK
But if you only have love for your own race
Then you only leave space to discriminate
And to discriminate only generates hate
And when you hate then you're bound to get irate, yeah
Badness is what you demonstrate
And that's exactly how a n**** works and operates
N****, you gotta have love just to set it straight
Take control of your mind and meditate
Let your soul gravitate to the love, y'all, y'all
People killin', people dyin'
Children hurt and you hear them cryin'
Can you practice what you preach
And would you turn the other cheek
Father, Father, Father help us
Send us some guidance from above
'Cause people got me, got me questionin'
Where is the love (Love)
Where is the love (The love)
Where is the love (The love)
Where is the love
The love, the love
It just ain't the same, always unchanged
New days are strange, is the world insane
If love and peace is so strong
Why are there pieces of love that don't belong
Nations droppin' bombs
Chemical gasses fillin' lungs of little ones
With the ongoin' sufferin' as the youth die young
So ask yourself is the lovin' really gone
So I could ask myself really what is goin' wrong
In this world that we livin' in people keep on givin'
in
Makin' wrong decisions, only visions of them dividends
Not respectin' each other, deny thy brother
A war is goin' on but the reason's undercover
The truth is kept secret, it's swept under the rug
If you never know truth then you never know love
Where's the love, y'all, come on (I don't really know)
Where's the truth, y'all, come on (I don't really know)
Where's the love, y'all
People killin', people dyin'
Children hurt and you hear them cryin'
Can you practice what you preach
And would you turn the other cheek
Father, Father, Father help us
Send us some guidance from above
'Cause people got me, got me questionin'
Where is the love (Love)
Where is the love (The love)
Where is the love (The love)
Where is the love (The love)
Where is the love (Love)
Where is the love (The love)
Where is the love (The love)
Where is the love
The love, the love
I feel the weight of the world on my shoulder
As I'm gettin' older, y'all, people gets colder
Most of us only care about money makin'
Selfishness got us followin' our own direction
Wrong information always shown by the media
Negative images is the main criteria
Infecting the young minds faster than bacteria
Kids act like what they see in the cinema
Yo', whatever happened to the values of humanity
Whatever happened to the fairness in equality
Instead in spreading love we spreading animosity
Lack of understanding, leading lives away from unity
That's the reason why sometimes I'm feelin' under
That's the reason why sometimes I'm feelin' down
There's no wonder why sometimes I'm feelin' under
Gotta keep my faith alive to lovers bound, and ask yourself...
Where is the love
Where is the love
Where is the love
Where is the love
Father, Father, Father help us
Send us some guidance from above
'Cause people got me, got me questionin'
Where is the love (Love)
Sing with me ya'll
(One world, One world)
We only got
(One world, One world)
Thats all we got
(One world, One world)
And somethings wrong with it (Yeah)
Somethings wrong with it (Yeah)
Somethings wrong with the wor...wor...world
Yeah we only got
(One world, One world)
Thats all we got
(One world, One world)
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10:15 am - heh heh heh... Chimu and Racku as a duet... That'd be funny
Racku:Imagine me and you, I do
I think about you day and night, it's only right
To think about the girl you love and hold her tight
So happy together
Chimu:If I should call you up, invest a dime
And you say you belong to me and ease my mind
Imagine how the world could be, so very fine
So happy together
Both: I can't see me lovin' nobody but you
For all my life
When you're with me, baby the skies'll be blue
For all my life
Chimu: Me and you and you and me
No matter how they toss the dice, it has to be
The only one for me is you, and you for me
So happy together
Racku:I can't see me lovin' nobody but you
For all my life
When you're with me, baby the skies'll be blue
For all my life
Chimu: Me and you and you and me
No matter how they toss the dice, it has to be
The only one for me is you, and you for me
So happy together
Ba-ba-ba-ba ba-ba-ba-ba ba-ba-ba ba-ba-ba-ba
Ba-ba-ba-ba ba-ba-ba-ba ba-ba-ba ba-ba-ba-ba
Racku: Me and you and you and me
No matter how they toss the dice, it has to be
The only one for me is you, and you for me
So happy together
Both:So happy together
How is the weather
So happy together
We're happy together
So happy together
Happy together
So happy together
So happy together (ba-ba-ba-ba ba-ba-ba-ba)
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March 26th, 2004
10:45 pm - Day 86 (Mirror Entry 3) - It's a Learning Experience
It'd been five days since they fell in the hole together. They had exhausted the food and water rations that Valdagia had been carrying and were now at their wits end with each other. Well, atleast Val was.
She looked at him wearily as he eyed her. "Stop right now. You're becoming transparent."
"I was under the impression that I was made of rather solid matter."
"Your motives are transparent, ok?"
"Alright. I'm not going to say anything cause it'll get me smacked."
"Good boy! You're learning!"
"Yeah, yeah."
At that moment a rope fell down. Gladly both of them climbed without even bothering to learn who it was on the other end. As it turned out it was Racku, smiling warmly.
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March 18th, 2004
07:20 am - Day 78 (Mirror Entry 2) - RULE BREAKER!
"Maybe this whole rule-breaking thing was a bad idea... Ya know... It's the kinda stuff that gets you in a TWENTY FOOT DEEP HOLE where a woman constantly smacks you." Chimu crossed his arms. His face was the unmistakable 'just-smacked' red.
"If you weren't such a perv, that wouldn't be part of your problem."
"If you were easy I wouldn't have this problem either." SMACK.
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March 17th, 2004
11:32 pm
Mewd6: I'm trying to practice writing by writing paragraphs on a single idea. I've been asking various friends to provide a random, mildly coherant concept for me to make something out of. Have one for me?
Nodin Caldain: hm... let's see
Nodin Caldain: try writing a paragraph on a jello mold
Nodin Caldain: that'd be mildly amusing
Nodin Caldain: that is... if you find jello molds amusing
Nodin Caldain: *in an odd mood, but needs to go to bed soon*
Mewd6: In the desolate reaches of the desert wastelands, there was but one thing able to stand the test of time. The sands shifted and blew accross the sun scorched barrens with only one monument to perpetuality standing strong. A picnic table valiantly stood in the heart of the desert hearth, and under checkered tablecloth and tray, a jello mold stood with valor. Forever there, jiggling under the wind but never yielding to its currents, it kept watch forevermore.
Nodin Caldain: yay
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10:21 pm - Day 71(Mirror Back-Entry -3): "You have stayed too long."
"Man... I'm getting hole-fever or something. We've been in here for three hours!" Chimu groaned.
"At this rate, a normal person would have figured out that you should of been trying to get out in the first place." She gave him an angry look.
"I'm not a normal person... Sides... Why should I get out and leave a beautiful lady who is over-endo-" SMACK. "OW!"
"PERV!"
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10:14 pm - Day 73 (Mirror Back-Entry -2): "Write about a longing"
"I want out of this hole. And food. Yeah... Food. Good food and maybe a little female companionship would be good about now." Chimu put his arms behind his head.
"You perv!" Val smacked him.
Chimu raised his eyebrows. "What? Oh wait... I've got half of my wish. Did it hurt?"
"What?"
"When you fell from heaven." SMACK! "Ow!"
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10:08 pm - Day 74 (Mirror Back-Entry -1)
"I heard the biblical story about the rich young man who came to Christ asking what was required to inherit eternal life. After asking him whether he kept the Commandments, Jesus told the man, "Now go and sell everything you own and give the money to the poor. Then follow Me."
So after I heard the story..."
"You know, people who try to give up everything to obtain religious purity?" Chimu asked. It was the second day in the hole.
"Yeah?" Val questioned.
"It's bull. You can't become pure like that. The very idea of mortality contradicts religious purity."
"Ok, a little too much time in this damn hole for you, Mister. You're talking philosophical crap now."
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10:02 pm - Day 75 (Mirror Back-Entry 0): "If I had my way..."
"If I had my way, you'd be in my bedroom right now." Chimu nodded sagely. This of course, got him a swift slap.
"You perv!" Val growled at him.
"What? I mean, I'd rather be in my bedroom than a dark cold hole anyday."
"Get your mind out of the gutter."
"Well, it'd have to be in the gutter in the first place... So if you were thinking bedroom in that way we could do it right he-" Another slap.
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07:51 pm - Day 77 (Mirror Entry 1): "Write about small injuries"
"It's nothing." Never-the-less Chimu cringed as Valdagia tied the band of cloth tightly around his finger.
"Don't try to be macho. It's not in your character." Val gave him a serious look. "It seems like I know you, but we just met."
"You feel it, too? Then I'll trust in the feeling. I'm not trying to be 'manly'. I've had emotional pain that hurt more than this. It's a little burn, nothing more."
"It's a mana-burn. You're such an idiot. Those things hurt like hell."
"Then maybe a kiss will make it feel better." Before she could object, Chimu's lips had met hers.
"You perv!" She pushed him away. "You'd take advantage of a situation like this?!"
"Eh? It was just a little kiss..."
"Then release your death grip on my chest, thank you."
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07:50 pm - Hrm...
I have an idea... Since he ignores me anyways, I'll mirror his 'journal entries'... If you can call them journal entrie... Feh
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